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No, not the standard ballroom dance (which does not include the Disco Fox, only the Foxtrot, from which it derived), so technically it should be yes and not no, at the beginning of this sentence… Well, what I wanted to say is that I went to the disco this friday.
Does not sound intriguing, doesn´t it? On a mean social level it doesn´t, but for me that was the second visit to such a place ever. I never was into the drinking, smoking and dancing, which happens in these places. Smoking is banned in most places these days, so at least this problem is kinda solved. A couple of friends of mine went to the disco and one of them asked me, if I wanted to tag along. The others didn´t bother to ask, as they either knew me too well, or not well enough, in order not to. In the end the disbelieving look, that I actually came with them, alone was worth it. Also I thought sometimes it is good to follow one´s own advice, in this case: Try something new, from time to time.
So I learned/was reminded of some things:
1. The power of music
2. My disgust of drunken people
3. How many movie cliche about discos are actually true
4. How diffcult adapting to foreign protocols can be
5. That a lot of social interactions of the (post)modern age, are simply alien to me
The power of music. It has been a while since I attended a concert of any kind and the sheer power of loud beats, coursing through your body, is something extraoridinary (physically speaking it isn´t though). It helps you to attain a knowledge of your body, which is otherwise reserved for very trained people, people who strain and train their fibres on a regular basis. It reminds you of the bodily part of your existence, which can easily be forgotten, when one is too absorbed in matters of the mind. In addition a good beat induces a want for acitivity, movement. To quote: All living is about movement.
Which coagulates into the idea of bodily perception, especially the perception of one´s own body. Clubs and discos are the no.1 matin ground of modern western society. The dancefloor is the place to show of, to attract a possible mate´s attention. The 70s maybe over, but it still holds true. It is a staging ground to show off. The more positive one´s own bodily perception is, the more confident one will step onto this area of scrutiny. These days it is often said, only when one feels sexy enough, one is confident. That is one of the reasons why mostly women occupy the dancefloors in the early evenings, in contrast to the 70s.
Our oversexualized society, ensrhines the slender, female form as the epitome of sexiness, one reasons why, more less slender women, also take longer to take to the dancefloor. Here is another aspect of the power of music, it equalizes. The more you are subjected to it (and allow yourself to be affected by the flow), the less hindered you feel. As a certain mood grows among the crowd, people get more relaxed and more join the dancing. The perception of one´s body changes and grows less important. No mater one´s shape, people start to feel comfortable with themselves and people who are comfortable with themselves, are more attractive to the other gender. It´s about confidence, the way you carry yourself and express your emotions. Maybe it only is the shining through of, ultimately carnal, desires, that brings about this effect.
I assume that is one of my problems, I´m too damned controlled. I allowed myself to relax somewhat during my stay, but it still has a strange after taste. I today even asked the one female member (which is the only one of us with a car, and thusly drove us, goodbye 70s) of our circle, if I stepped on any toes during the evening, because I try not to hurt anyones feelings. I am a very emotional person, which is why I bury them under many layers of control, when among other people. Letting go of that is difficult, because from the experience I made when doing so, I know that the intensity, mostly is too much for other people. Therefore just letting go in the club wasn´t an option.
Another thing I was reminded of, is my ability to be happy for other people. I genuinely can be happy for other people, when I see them doing something, which they obviously enjoy and love (a complex word in it´s own right). I really am glad when I see such things. It is a good feeling, but it also estranges me from most of mankind. It is easier to be happy for others, than to be happy myself. Combined with the high level of control, which distances me from the easy access of simple joy, it really alienates me from the people around me.
Well, I will have several more decades to figure out a solution for this problem, but for today that is enough. The rest will come round another time.
On an afterthought, the visit could not have been that bad, as it brought forth, a rather unconventional, Haiku. I will post it later next week, but first I have to show it to the person, who inspired it in the first place.
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