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I have an experiment for you.
Think of someone you like, preferably someone you like dearly.
Now think of something they did to hurt you, inadvertly or not.
Think about how that felt.
Now it´s time to think of how you forgave them.
Think up the most terrible thing, you can come up with, that they could do to hurt you. How bad does it feel? What would it take to forgive them? How much would you take, before quitting the friendship?
At last: Rid yourself of this terrible thought, by remembering any one of the happy moments with them. There should be a bunch to choose from.
So, what´s the point of this, beside me getting hurt several times over the last days? As the title says, it is about the pain. As one of the primary motivators in our life, pain is something everyone is accustomed to. From the simple bodily pain that kicking the door with one toe only, over the feeling of not winning the auction on ebay, to the social hurt a number of people piles on us everyday. Pain is everywhere. We might not always be aware of it, but it is there. Actually we have become quite adept at blocking it out. Life is just better without pain, isn´t it? Pain is also something that works the other way round than most things. Many a thing in our life, we only learn to appreciate when it is gone. Pain teaches you how well off you were, before it struck home. So only by its´ presence it shows you howawesome was his absence. A great deal of the pain we are suffering is self-made. People tend to tear themselves up, over problems which aren´t really are problems. We do this all the time. Of course a lot comes from external sources, especially bodily pain. The worst one comes from other people though. The old proverb says: If looks could kill… But they can. Pain comes in degrees. As do our relationships to people. In a way it is simple math. The closer you are, the more it hurts, when you are burned. When the fire is gone and the burns start to cool down, one question remains: How much of it will you take? The answer is highly dependant on what your motivations are to endure it. Why do you take it? I know why I do. It also tells me, where the limit will be. Try to discern that for yourself, but be warned, it is not funny to think about these things. See you around