A blog about Science, Philosophy, Wargaming, Literature and other things, in three or more languages.
A powerful word. Invoked by people, governments and literature all around the globe. Yet no language or dictionary can actually grasp the meanings and nuances, which are included in the feeling of home.
In many a dictionary there are nice descriptions, of what home is. Often described in a spatial way, sometimes in an emotional way. Lately I visited my town of birth for a job interview (and I got the job, which is cool), but I was early.
I generally turn up too early in situations like this, because if a train runs late, or other accidents, that tend to happen along long ways, delay my arrival, then I am still on time.
In this case everything went overly smooth and I turned up almost an hour early. So I took the time to walk around town somewhat. I ran by my old school (same neighbourhood as the new job, kinda creepy), walked the main shopping street and spend some time at the river.
Beside reminding me of the fact how awesome rivers are (try it, just sit by one for 10 minutes and see what it does to you), it awakened some feeling of belonging, a feeling of home.
I used to travel along this river for many years, years of my youth (which is the most important formative period, for our personality after all), I walked these streets for many years, and a lot good and bad memories are tied to the school as well.
In the end it was the mixture of things. The old cracks in the street, which already were there, when you were young. The sound of the surroundings (water and the suspension railway in this case (so you now know, where I grew up)), but also the things that were different. It all conferred a feeling of belonging. It felt good. It felt at home.
Especially the last thing, with the changes, seems odd at first. You go and see new shops, were xy used to be. Then there are the shops that are still the same. Lastly the empty ones. Like the old cinema, were you used to watch every new Disney movie (well, sue me;)), now deserted for over a decade, but still there.
The notion of still there, is an important one. It tells you, that not everything has changed, some things are still the same. In a way the heart remains the same. All the little changes speak to you, as you draw the comparison with your memories (good or bad ones). It shows you that this place has evolved (or devolved in some cases), just like you. Memory is a tricky thing (not to mention hard to grasp, define or store) but it changes and grows with age, in ways that you never had thought possible, when younger. This is a good thing, even though it is frightening.
Do me a favour, go somewhere where you feel at home. It does not need to be a place, but go there, you won´t regret it.